Update 1

     Some times I feel if you are reading this, and we never get to see each other then you are missing out on some really good stuff. Therefore, periodically I am going to update everyone regarding general things. First and most importantly madame awesome has not been able to regrow her chopped eyebrow. It's a bummer. Secondly, I have quit my job reacently, again but I am going back this week. Thank God. Next, I start college in one week, woot woo. That is all for now.

Just In Case

    I was thinking today, which felt weird. But any who, I was considering the fact that I haven't exactly made everything clear such as who I am, what this all about, and why I'm so cool. Here it is, everything you could want to, don't want to, and should want to know. My name is Caitlynn obviously. I am 17 and I live somewhere on Earth. It's a secret somewhere, only because my coolness level can tend to cause creepers. IF YOU'RE A CREEPER READING THIS I WILL FIND YOU AND SLAP BOX YOUR FACE... twice. Back to my life, I work at FitStudio365 in my secret town. In case it wasn't assumed FitStudio is a gym. Haha. I love being chunky and working at a gym, it makes total sense without making any sense. I am finished with school and I am now looking for my passion and about to start a few college classes. I recently became a Private E-1 in the Virginia Defense Force. I am hoping to one day be in the Army National Guard. I have the greatest support system around and couldn't have asked for better surroundings. I am attempting to live healthy, rise above the average, be the best without knowing it, and crack a few smiles along the way. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it.

Piggy

    I have a best friend, his name is Sam. Sam and I have been best friends for 5 long wonderful years. Over the years Sam and I have experienced some really fabulous things we have also experienced some, not so fabulous things. I love Sam and he loves me, and sometimes we are stupid. Recently I have handled my money quite terribly and I am in a situation similar to the one the current President is attempting to fix. Yikes. So being the interesting individual I am, I decided to get my piggy bank from my childhood and attempt to dip into its funds. The problem lies in the belly of this Ham Pit. There was no hole, no opening, no way to allow my big coins to flow out. Therefore, Sam and I got a trash bag and pulled into the Sheetz parking lot. I was calmly pumping gas and Sam decides to ARNOLD SWING the Ham Pit while in the trash bag. This idea sounded and seemed brilliant, see when Ham Pit busts all his wondering money would flow directly into the trash bag. Yeah. No. Thank you nice lady who helped us pick up the seven foot wide spread of coins. You're a good person.

FAIL.

Spelling Champion

I have a really good friend, Lindsey and I have been friends for about 4 years on and off. We went to junior high together and for some odd reason neither one of us can spell. Ever. At all. I think it was because we decided to "horse play" while everyone else was learning to spell. The point is, she HAD this boyfriend who did something he shouldn't have done. In the process of attempting to cuss at him, she texted him and said " YOU ASSWHOLE!" Hmm. Fail. I told my boss, who laughed until she almost passed out. A few days later I was about to cook some hamburger meat at my boss' casa. I texted her and said "what do you want me to do with this meet?" Fail. I was in a hurry and I'm kinda a Helen. Being the fabulous person she is, she responded with "IT'S MEAT, YOU ASSWHOLE!" Best boss ever? YES!!!!

FAIL!

Spiderwoman!

    Sir dance-a-lot is amazing. He is smart, super cute, and has a really rare sense of humor. He gets really offended when I try to laugh at his funnyness because he thinks I am laughing at him. Any who the other day I was attempting to take a nap. FAIL. As I was laying there sir dace-a-lot comes in, to play his piano of course. When I told him I was trying to sleep he claimed he just wouldn't play as loud as regular.... After a bit, he leaves. Only to return in the nude, while holding a Superman costume. He sat butt naked on the floor and threw the costume at me saying "Put this on me!!" So I did it. I was still trying to sleep when he yelled "CAITLYNN WE ARE GOING OUTSIDE... NOW!" So I got up to go outside and realized he not only was in Superman attire, he had a wig on. Not just any wig, a Cruella de Vil wig. I'm talking paper white on one half and jet black on the other half. I played along, thinking it was a joke. It wasn't. Sir dance-a-lot doesn't live in a "We love children" neighborhood so the fact that he was beating his chest, while running and jumping in the rain, while wearing his fabulous outfit, while I videoed him, might be reason enough for the neighbors to not be our fans. My favorite thing about dance-a-lot is, he is always honest. That is why he did his routine while yelling things like "I'M SPIDERWOMAN, I'M SPIDER MAN, I'M SPIDER GIRL AND MAN, I CAN DANCE, I'M GUNNA GET CHA!" The simple fact that he understood that with the wig he was no longer an average Spiderman, makes me so happy. Coolest Spiderwoman yet? I think so.

                      PASS.

I quit.

A few weeks ago I woke up in a super nasty mood, and decided I just couldn't do everything. Have a job and do it well, play a part with my family and friends, and not pull my hair out. Instead of being calm, calm isn't my thing, I just quit my job. My buffy is the most calm and level headed boss alive. Seriously, I am wild,
crazy and tripolar and no one deals with me like she does.
"I can't do this, I quit."
She responded and said "Okay what time are you coming in today?"
"I'm not, I quit."
"See you at 11."
Ever failed at quitting your job? I have.
Since than I have quit my job 459,856,210,145 times and failed 459,856,210,145.

FAIL!

Who Needs Eyebrows?

For the most part, today was normal. Regular things happened at regular moments. I was three centimeters from bed when I heard a convo taking place between my boss (buffy) and madame awesome. It took me a bit to fully comprehend the complete concept, and finally it hit me, simply eyebrows. I'm more than confident that somewhere on the wonderful world wide web, there is a picture of me with nasty, thick, overgrown eyebrows. I usually keep up with my eyebrows like Ray Charles keeps up with his own yard work. I DO NOT however take matters into my own hands, razors, or hot wax. Putting me in charge of my eyebrows with a tool or weapon is equivalent to putting Ray Charles on a riding mower with his foot DUCK taped to the pedal. Madame awesome is no more experienced with eyebrow cropping than I, but she is a firm believer in high-jacking buffy's razor at her convenience . The problem is she crops her eyebrows vertically rather then horizontally. On the other hand, she only did one eyebrow, I don't know why that is on the other hand. I will inform you when the eyebrow returns. Until next time, don't do your own eyebrows.

FAIL!